My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
