Porn is love you can see.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
