non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
