and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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