I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Its about making memories worth repressing
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize
