At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
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