Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i barfeds in our rink
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
