these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
