you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
