Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
