are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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