Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
