As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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