I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
