okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You pole danced in your parka.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
