I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
