new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
