lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
