What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
