Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Of course I have a pirate flag
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
