blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
