I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
