T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
