Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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