Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
