I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
