If that was your dad, he is hot
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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