stop calling my apartment porn island.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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