can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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