STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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