Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
