We're like a lot better than the average bears
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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