I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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