hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
