Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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