I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
