oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
