Whod you bang
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
