Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
