it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
