This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
he's gonorrhea incarnate
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
