Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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