She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Randomize
