Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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