so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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