Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
