Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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