you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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