If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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