I heard we made out
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
No stitches, just platelets and will power
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Randomize
