We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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