"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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